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Live :: Optimistically :: Through :: Universal :: Struggles
1/17/2018 0 Comments Ballistic Missile BlunderSome of our biggest blunders end up being the best learning experiences. On January 13, 2018 at 8:07am HST, Hawaii residents received an Emergency Alert that stated that a ballistic missile was inbound to Hawaii and recommended that you seek immediate shelter. Was the missile going to hit, did it get blown out of the sky or was this all a really bad mistake? For 38 minutes, the state of Hawaii was in limbo. People were going 100mph to get home to their families, a dad was seen putting kids his kids in a storm drain, and a video showed UH students running in fear around campus. Amidst the chaos, we received the official alert that it was a false alarm. Luckily, there was no ballistic missile headed towards Hawaii. In fact, it appeared to have been a mistake, someone pressed the wrong button! Relief, anger, and confusion were just some of the emotions that went through Hawaii residents. Everyone in Hawaii, will always remember where they were the minute they received that alert. To be honest, I panicked for a quick second. I searched the internet looking for some sign if this was really happening and googling what to do when a ballistic missile landed. And then I stopped and took a breath, I asked myself “What can you control right now?” I realized that no matter how much I wish I could telepathically reroute a missile, there was absolutely no way I can control it. Like with every situation, it’s important to stay positive and focus on what you can control. And in crisis situations it is vital that you STAY CALM! I know I know, it’s hard to stay calm when there is a possible ballistic missile heading your way; however, going crazy worrying doesn’t alter the course of its path, doesn’t keep you safe, it just doesn’t help! These past few days friends, family and clients have processed their perspective on the event. All of their experiences are justified and most found the situation very traumatizing. How is one to explain to their young children that a possible ballistic missile could be landing in a few minutes?! The stories that I heard and read were heartbreaking and I wished that these families could have been spared from this trauma. As much as we'd like to rewind time and prevent this mistake from happening, there was something positive that came out from this false alarm. Because of the false alert, every person in Hawaii is now aware of what to expect if an alarm goes off, the importance of seeking shelter and how to shield yourself from the fallout. Overall the 3 lessons Hawaii learned from this false alarm:
Regardless of how Saturday’s false alarm impacted everyone in Hawaii, each of us (adults and kids) are walking away from this experience with more knowledge and hopefully a better idea of what to do if a missile were launched. Please refer to the following pdf, which is a memo sent from the Hawaii State Department of Education detailing what to do, how to prepare and FAQ’s.
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Happy New Year! As we begin this new year, I encourage you to take some time and create goals for yourself. I am sure you have created some new years resolutions before. Often times, resolutions are unsuccessful as we keep them to ourselves. Sometimes we may be embarrassed by sharing our goal or fear that we may fail so chose not to share our resolutions. I encourage you to be transparent about your goals. Write them down, tell someone about it or create a dream board. Sharing your goals and aspirations helps you keep accountable and increases your success rate. What is a dream board? A dream board is a visual creation of one's goals and aspirations. Dream boards have been known to help manifest goals. By creating a dream board you are putting your intentions out in the world. The act of creating a dream board helps us identify goals we would like to achieve. Not only do we identify goals, but creating a board allows us to visualize our goals. It can be done in many different ways, there is no right or wrong way to do it. You can create a collage, use drawings, paste photographs and use inspirational words and quotes. The most important thing is place it in a area that you will see it daily. Let it be a daily reminder for you to work towards your hopes and dreams. This weekend a few of my friends got together to start the year off with creating goals and intentions. We started by sharing the lessons we learned in 2017 and identifying aspirations for 2018. By sharing our aspirations with each other, we are become each other's accountability partners and can help and support each other in achieving our individual goals. My friends have made this an annual event and this was actually my first time creating a dream board. As we perused the same magazines, it amazed me that different images, words and quotes stuck out to each of us. Each of our boards were different and uniquely a direct reflection of ourselves and our aspirations. One of the most special parts of our event was sharing our current fears and insecurities and dreams and aspirations with each other. Collaboratively, we cheered each other one, gave each other insight and ideas and offered encouragement and reassurance that our goals will be achieved. I encourage you to take some time this month and create a dream board of your own.
Dream :: Seek :: Achieve It has been a while since I returned home for Bali and honestly, I needed some time to process the trip and readjust back to life. Bali is everything everyone says it is. There are mountains and beaches, temples and resorts, surfing and yoga. Anyone can enjoy the beauty, culture and nature that Bali has to offer. And boy was I ready to take it all in! But we all know that sometimes our hopes and dreams don't play out the way we planned. My Bali trip was rough. As soon as I got there I was faced with two sacks of lemons - a threatening volcano that could cause an island wide evacuation and a sudden and unexpected loss of a family member. My automatic answer was to go home! It made sense, it's not a good idea to be stuck on a small island with a threat of a volcano erupting and I already had two weeks off to help my family. Being a psychologist and a natural nurturer, my instinct is to help others, which sometimes means that my needs come second. My loving family encouraged me to stay and enjoy my trip. I was not convinced. It was uncomfortable for me to put myself first, I felt guilty and uneasy about engaging in self care and enjoying myself while my family was suffering and grieving. If you were to see my pictures from the trip, it looks like I am having a blast and don't get me wrong I had some great times. But honestly, my trip had its highs and its low lows. There were days that the guilt and distance of being away from my family had me staying in bed and the grief of losing a loved one overwhelmed me with unstoppable tears. In these lows, I found it difficult to practice what I preach - think positively, make the best out of the situation and focus on what you can control. I found myself making excuses to go home. It took a lot for me to take myself out of the situation and ask myself what I would encourage someone in the same situation to do. I decided to make conscious efforts to do what I could to support my family and honor my loved one's life in Bali. I revised my game plan and found myself gravitating to temples, giving offerings for my family's health and sending peaceful and loving vibes back home. My previous fears of traveling solo was no longer detectable on my radar. I was now motivated to enjoy every minute that I have in this lifetime, to live without regrets and to rejuvenate myself so when I got home I would be there for my family. My Bali trip went from completing a Bali adventure bucket list to learning to cope with the lemons life hands you thousand of miles away from home. Making Balinese lemonade was not an easy task. It was not what I expected or planned for and yet it was a great learning experience. I learned a lot about myself and most importantly, I realized that it is okay to put myself first for once, to take time to refuel myself so that I could help others. It was refreshing and weird for me to do. Sitting solo at a restaurant became the norm, having the ability to completely make my own choices without having to worry about accommodating anyone else was oddly empowering. Being able to wake up and be spontaneous without having to consider anyone else's feelings, judgements or opinions was refreshing. I found myself waking up early, soaking in flower bathes, and choosing dining options that allowed me to enjoy the beauty of Bali. I watched sunsets on the beach, swam with manta rays, walked in rice paddies, played with monkeys, and took a Balinese cooking class. I did sun salutations in front of a volcano at sunrise, meditated daily, participated in fire rituals and holy water temples and released things that were no longer useful to my greater good. I ended each night with journaling and processing the days events, allowing my emotions that rose to the surface to be acknowledged. My journey was not what I expected it to be, but all in all, it was undeniably one of the greatest learning experiences I have had thus far. I would never expect that I could find enjoyment in making Balinese lemonade, but it was overall surprisingly invigorating. Lemonade Lesson - When you take care of yourself, you are better prepared to take care of others. Suksma Bali for your love, positive vibes and life lessons. Part of my job as a psychologist is to support and encourage my clients to take a leap of faith, to trust in the process, to try something new and step out of their comfort zone. I encourage, validate and admit that the unknown can be a scary place. What better way to set an example and model behavior by stepping out of my comfort zone. Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world,” right? It has always been a dream of mine to take my gypsy travels to the next level with a solo trip. I added it to my bucket list, read blogs about solo female travels and shared it with my inner circle. After all, once we say something out loud and put it out there in the world, it makes it a little more real right? My solo adventure has been on the top of my bucket list and I have to admit I have started to plan multiple solo trips and when friends find out I am going on an adventure and want to come, I say, YAASS! I mean since when is a girls’ trip not a good idea? I have had the greatest adventures with my besties! Plus
Well it’s important that I practice what I preach and today’s blog is about stepping out of your comfort zone. As you read this, I am on a plane (thank you automated post feature) traveling across the world by myself to spend 18 days ALONE in BALI! Yes alone! I would love to tell you that it will be just me and my backpack with no plans; that I will just be going with the flow and being a legit gypsy. BUT, I am traveling alone and safety is always the most important thing. So it will be me, my backpack, my bujo, camera, a rented pocket wifi (to stay in touch with everyone back home and in Bali), and a confirmed accommodation for my first few nights. And to end this epic journey I will be attending a week long yoga retreat (with an entire day of silence, eek). I am feeling EXCITED!, hopeful, spontaneous and honestly, a little fearful. I have no idea how it will turn out? But, I am confident that no matter what adventures this journey brings me, I hope to inspire others to step out of their comfort zone, try something new, face a fear and grow in the process. How does an outgoing social butterfly survive on her own in an unfamiliar surrounding? Will it be everything I thought it would be and more? Well I am not sure, but stay tuned to find out. What’s one of your greatest fears? And what steps are you making to overcome it? #lotussolotravels9/11/2017 0 Comments 9/11 - What do you remember?September 11 holds many memories for all Americans.
Since 2001, I have used the events of September 11 as a way to explain differences in perspective and susceptibility of trauma. I think all Americans can remember that traumatic experience and recall exactly what we were doing at that exact time we found out. According to where we were in life, how close proximally or emotionally we were to WTC, and if we were connected to someone who directly experienced the traumatic event impacted how traumatized we are. We can all experience the same situation, depending on how we experience and process it impacts the situation's overall effect on us. Today, in the midst of multiple back to back natural disasters (Hurricane Harvey, Irma and Jose), the 16th anniversary of the Twin Towers crash and 25th year anniversary of Hurricane Iniki; my perspective on remembering this day has changed. We could look at today as historically being tragic OR we can CHOOSE to look at the blessings that these days represent. Today I had the opportunity to talk to all my clients about their experiences on the day. I found that along with tragedy, there are reasons to celebrate and be grateful. Today I am especially grateful that my sister in Florida and her family got the gift of electricity. We often forget how lucky and blessed we are by the little things. We can't always control our situation, yet we have the power in changing the way we think about the situation. Instead of worrying about my sister not having electricity due to Hurricane Irma, I focused on being thankful that they were all safe, together and able to notify us that they were okay! What a blessing! The unintentional theme throughout my sessions today was GRATITUDE. In one session today, my client and I created a new game - gratitude ball. This client was excited to share a new game her teacher had taught them - silent ball. Where everyone had to be completely silent and see how many passes around the circle were completed (how brilliant is this teacher! What a great way to quiet down her classroom and work on cooperation and team building!) We put our own spin to the game and on every toss, we shared one thing we are grateful for. I used this theme of being grateful across all of my sessions today. For some clients - their homework is to end the night with identifying 3 things they are grateful for, to start a gratitude log or to share with their partner one reason they are grateful to have them in their life. The hustle and bustle of life in itself can be a whirlwind and it is important that in the midst of chaos we take time to look at the bigger picture and pay homage to our blessings. We all have so many blessings in our life! What are you thankful for? 6/21/2017 0 Comments International Yoga Day“Yoga is the light which once lit never dims, the better the practice the brighter the flame.” – B.K.S. Lyenagar
Some people drink, some people smoke, I yoga. For the last 2 years I have been a self appointed yogi. It’s my addiction. I crave and jones for bikram. Now let me be honest, it took me a while to reap the benefits of the practice. After all, its 90 minutes in a super humid, crazy hot, brightly lit room with a class full of sweaty stinky yogis. At first I would compare myself to others in the room and wonder why my body was not as flexible as theirs, my mind busy with to do lists or a running rolodex of events of my day. My body was exhausted and tired, I slept better and I must’ve been detoxing right as my towel was soaked. As the months went by, the sweat rolled off, I found myself being able to clear my mind, to compartmentalize my stress and focus on me and my body. The other people in the room became blurred, the focus remained on me and my practice. And the results, wooo what a difference. Was I burning any more calories? Nope. Had my flexibility significantly improved? Not really But the result the class had on my mind and stress levels was unexplainable. I craved the sweaty, clear headed, euphoric feeling that each class resulted in. The more I was able to focus on me, drown out my thoughts and other people in the room, the more powerful my practice became. I am not perfect and I am definitely the most flexible in class, yet when I challenge myself to do the best that I can for that day, in that moment, I am a winner. I reap the most benefits – mind, body and spirit. Yoga is my addiction, what is a healthy coping skill that you have become addicted to? 4/19/2017 0 Comments Silver lining and rainbowsI tell my clients all the time to look for the silver lining. Here in Hawaii we are blessed to have beautiful weather for most of the year. Every once in a while we are hit with a rainstorm or flashflood. It's easy to get caught up in how the crappy weather is and how it impacted our day, after all it ruins our beach day, prevents us from viewing a beautiful sunset or prohibits us working on our tan. In the midst of the storm it is often hard to see its beauty. But if we allow ourselves to wait out the storm, we are rewarded with a beautiful rainbow. We are even blessed to reap the benefits of the storms for days after, our lush mountain sides are green and bursting with waterfalls. Sometimes the results of a storm result in long lasting beauty. This week, we experienced days straight of rain. It was gloomy, traffic was worse and yet we had no control over it. In these times where we have no control over the situation/storm, I encourage you to wait it out, stay warm and cozy, enjoy the company of your loved ones and when you least expect it, you will be rewarded with a few seconds of pure bliss as the perfect rainbow appears. It's often hard to look for the silver linings or a glimpse of a perfect rainbow, but when we think positively, we feel positive and do positive. We may not have control of the situation/storm, but we do have the power to change the way you think, feel and therefore do about it. That is what makes you powerful! When I see a rainbow, I can't help but think of my nephew Dylan. He has also been drawn to rainbows, we even named his Autism Walk team #dylansrainbows. Like a rainbow, Dylan surprises us all the time with beauty and grace. He has the ability to see the silver lining in the gloomiest of situations. This week was full of storms for Dylan and I couldn't be more proud of him. He handled the situation appropriately and in the end, was rewarded with a rainbow of his own. While he had endured a horrendous storm, he was able to stay positive, which allowed him to control how he thought, how he felt and helped him to control his behaviors. He was more powerful then the storm itself! Wouldn't we all benefit from being a little more like Dylan, stay optimistic and choose to control the outcome of the situation by not letting the storm control you! This week, I encourage you all to be a little more like my nephew. Stop and look for beauty, because... "it always makes your day a little better, right?" - DYLAN 4/4/2017 0 Comments LIGHTING IT UP BLUE vol. 2
4/3/2017 0 Comments Autism Book recommendationsWhen I first diagnose someone with Autism, my first focus is on educating family members about Autism and giving them resources. My go to book recommendation is Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wish you Knew. This book is written by Ellen Notbohm, who is a mother of two children on the spectrum. Each chapter discusses a possible tendency your child may have. It explains it in detail through a parents perspective. For families of individuals who are high functioning and have a difficult time accepting and understanding the ASD diagnosis, I recommend the following book – Can I tell you about Asperger’s Syndrome?: A guide for friends and family by Jude Welton. I particularly like this book as on page there is a picture story (that kids can understand) and on the opposite page there is a length description of the topic being discussed. This book was particularly helpful for newly diagnosed families to use with their other children and extended families. Another book I have found particularly helpful for adults who have recently learned they have high functioning Autism is - Look Me in the Eye - My life with Asperger's written by John Elder Robinson. The author of this book began writing his life stories as a way of coping from his father’s death. As he is high functioning, he was misdiagnosed and felt very lost and confused growing up. This book is enlightening as it is written through the perspective an individual with high functioning Autism. It highlights stories from childhood, adolescence and adult life. To start off Autism Awareness month, let’s celebrate by LIGHTING IT UP BLUE! Wear Blue to support and show awareness for Autism today! By definition, Autism is a spectrum disorder, meaning there is wide range of variation in strengths and challenges for individual with Autism. Autism is characterized by communication delays, difficulties with obtaining and maintaining relationships and sensory sensitivities. There is no direct cause for Autism and no two cases look alike. The symbol for autism is a puzzle piece. It clearly explains that each case is unique and interventions should be tailored to fit each individual person. While I am a huge advocate for bringing awareness to many issues, if you know me, you know that I hold a special place in my heart for individuals on the Autism Spectrum. I have had the opportunity to work with a wide range of Autism clientele in multiple roles for the last 12 years. My journey and love the Autism population started in 2005 when I started work as a skills trainer. I was granted the opportunity to work with children under three, providing services to their families in their homes and communities. This was a unique experience to be allowed to enter these families homes and integrate in their family life. I was able to see the struggles as well as celebrations just as their family saw it. This helped me understand the need for and success in individualized treatment. My second role with Autism was as a skills trainer for school age children in a school setting. This was completely different for myself as well as the clients. In a school setting, the treatment plan had to be incorporated and adjusted to a general education classroom, it was more difficult to tailor the individual child's needs in such a setting. In this role, I valued the importance of consistency, structure and routine. Despite being in a less controlled environment, my clients thrived when team members were consistent, implemented structure and stuck to daily routines. A few years later, my position changed. I had graduated with my Master's degree in Clinical Psychology, not only was I able to help implement individualized treatment plans, I was the one creating them! With the increase in responsibility, I felt extreme pressure to create behavioral plans for skill trainers, parents and teachers to implement. I assessed the data collected and adjusted my client's plans to assist them to further progress with their goals. During this time, I also had the opportunity to work with adults who had Autism who did not receive services as children. I saw the profound effect on how early intervention services significantly improved prognosis and outcomes. While all these experiences have enhanced my clinical skills and have provided me with a comprehensive perspective on Autism, the most pivotal experience I have had was a personal one. My nephew, Dylan was diagnosed with Asperger’s (previously categorized as high functioning ASD), when he was 7 years old. His diagnosis changed my family’s life but even more so my life. Treatments, interventions and resources became even more important to me. But even more so then my surge for knowledge, my heart opened and grew of the ASD population. I completely understood what it was like to be on the other side. To have no control over a loved one’s diagnosis, to wonder or even regret how you dealt with past behaviors because you were looking at it through a different lense. Learning about my nephew’s diagnosis, increased my motivation to work with clients on the Autism Spectrum. I went to a national Autism training in Florida, I ordered tons of books on Autism (diets, treatments, children’s books), I got trained in additional interventions and started to add an additional focus on education for families as well as providing them with resources. My family came together and participated in Autism Walks, Surfer's Healing and my sister chose to spread awareness through a blog. (https://aspiewarriormom.wordpress.com/) I found that I particularly connected to families with high functioning Autism. It was easy to relate to them, easy to empathize with them. It was easy to reassure them that things can get better, that their family member can be successful. It was easy to encourage them to stay positive, educate themselves and work with their loved one’s tendencies. Notice, I said TENDENCIES, not symptoms. Technically, they are classified in the DSM 5 as symptoms; however, for all purposes in my practice and in my life, I describe them as tendencies. I see symptoms as behaviors that can be resolved (like a cough or insomnia). Autistic symptoms do not get cured, they do not go away, instead they can be better understood, they can be reframed as strengths. This is how I see my nephew and my clients. Special and unique individuals with tendencies that can be viewed as challenges or strengths. I choose to see them as strengths. The world works in mysterious ways, sometimes in ways we can’t understand. Did Dylan’s diagnosis help me to educate and prepare myself to work with others like him? Or did my training and clinical experiences make me well suited to be the best aunty I can be to him? Either way, I am the lucky one. I am lucky to have been on this journey with him and my family, I am lucky to see the awesomeness in his tendencies and understand how they can be a strengths rather then symptoms. I am the lucky one to help other families go through their individual journeys. And I am the lucky one to promote and help build awareness for Autism. April 2nd is one way that I show my love for those who are diagnosed with Autism. I ask my friends and family to support Autism by wearing blue and spreading awareness. When you are touched by someone who has Autism you know personally how they light up your life! Why not show support by lighting your day up with blue! Today I am dedicating my day to my nephew. Dylan thank you for lighting my life up with hope and inspiring me to fight for those who are uniquely beautiful! LIGHT IT UP BLUE for someone that lights up your life! **Continue to check the blog this month for additional resources and entries on Autism.
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