LOTUS notes
Live :: Optimistically :: Through :: Universal :: Struggles
10/17/2016 0 Comments It's time...There comes a time in life when you just know a change needs to happen. Don't fear the change. Embrace it. It may just be the magic you've been looking for!!
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9/16/2016 0 Comments KomorebiStop and smell the roses...while the meaning of this phrase is well intended, here in Hawaii, it's near impossible. Instead, I like to "stop and look at the komorebi." Komorebi - is the Japanese word for sunlight being filtered through the trees. When I find myself in nature, I get mesmerized by the beauty that surrounds me. And most always, I am most drawn to the exquisiteness of the sun shining through the trees. The beauty of komorebi is that it can be seen through any leaves or any tree. Whether you are in a city, beach, or rainforest, you can find komorebi. All you have to do is stop, be in the moment, take a breath and enjoy the beauty that is peeking through the leaves. I recently had the opportunity to travel to Seattle, Washington. Although, I have traveled there before, this time was different. I spent my time in nature, hiking through rainforests, camping on a deserted beach, splashing around in lakes and exploring the national parks. Through all these adventures, I was reminded that beauty, calmness and peace is all around us. It doesn't matter where you are in life (geographically or emotionally), take a moment and look for the komorebi. 8/12/2016 0 Comments Salt water cleansing :: Hi'UWAIHow many times have you been in the ocean and for some unexplainable reason you feel better?! When the world gets stressful, I find myself, feeling drawn to the ocean. It is my form of therapy. Growing up in Hawaii, I have always valued and loved the ocean. As a child, my mom would scold me for being in the water for too long and complain about my "prune fingahs." For my entire life, the ocean has been a place of joy and healing. A few years ago I started to understand why. While working at Waianae Coast Comprehensive Health Center, one of my supervisors shared the story of Makahiki season and hi'uwai (salt water cleansing). Today's phrase - "Work hard and play hard," is a perfect demonstration of the Hawaiian work ethic. Hawaiian community and villages farmed and fished for months. Once a year, everyone came to an agreement, like a ceasefire. Makahiki was that ceasefire. "Make love not war," - no work, no war, just a time of peace, love and harmony. Makahiki was as important as planting the crops, catching the fish or pounding tapa, it was a time to stop and take care of yourself, to refresh and rejuvenate. (Doesn't that sound like self-care?) Wouldn't it be great if we could follow those customs now? Makahiki was a time to celebrate, indulge and enjoy. It was a time to be thankful for the abundance of the past year. Villagers would come together eat, play games and enjoy each other's companies. When it was time for the Makahiki season to end, the villagers would participate in a salt water cleansing - hi'uwai. At dawn, everyone would strip down, enter the ocean and release their indulgences, stress and worries. As they soaked in the ocean, their spirit was re-energized. They cleansed their spirit, mind and body. Although we do not always understand why we feel a certain way when we do something, my whole life I have subscribed to hi'uwai. While I am a local girl at heart, I also have a gypsy soul. I lived in California and Australia and traveled the world (Czech Republic, Japan, Greece, New Zealand, Canada, Vietnam, Mexico, Turkey and Ireland), you better believe no matter where I have been, no matter how cold it's been, I have always been drawn to the ocean. I didn't care what others thought of me, even if it was too cold to submerge my entire body, at least my toes needed to touch and be revitalized by the ocean. I NEED to be in the ocean, the ocean automatically relaxes me, soaking in the calmness and mana (power) of the waves, makes me feel whole and new again. Hi'uwai has always been a tradition that heals me. What is your tradition? What heals you? 8/4/2016 0 Comments POKEMON GO or POKEMON NO!!Within the last few months, America and the world has witnessed too much heartache and tragedy. From innocent people who died while “shaking it off” in a nightclub to multiple shootings between people of different skin colors to the ongoing heated debates between Trump and Hillary. No matter what happens in the world, there always seems to be a debate. Debates are inevitable, everyone is allowed to have their own opinions. What would are world be if everyone thought the same. On a much lighter note...the newest social media debate involves the new pop culture phenomenon – Pokemon Go. Pokemon Go is a FREE app that is based off of 90's cartoon Pokemon. The developers of this app combined the storyline of the popular TV show and an interactive game. Players use their GPS on their mobile devices to find, catch and battle their Pokemons. I personally have not downloaded the app myself, however, I have seen what a tremendously positive effect it has had on so many of my clients. From elementary kids, to ornery teens to closet geeky adults, this app has made a positive impression on so many of their lives. Like with everything in life, there is always a flipside to things. Below I have listed a few pros and cons on this app and how it has impacted some of my client’s lives. Pros 1 - You need to get out to play (Behavioral activation – getting out and doing something is a common homework that I give to my clients. I am amazed at how this app has motivated some of my socially anxious clients to go out in public, meet people and socialize!) Caveat :: I typically request that my clients put their phone away during sessions, but recently, my clients have been showing me their pokemons, the cool names they are renaming them or their character’s CP (Don’t quote me on this, but I think the CP indicates how powerful that pokemon is). The more you use it the more powerful it gets!! Hmm, doesn’t that play perfectly into the importance of using positive thinking, communicating effectively or engaging in coping skills or self care?! The more you do it, the more powerful it gets! Gosh, did I mention how much I love how this game is impacting the world?! 2 – Exercise – So I have heard that you can catch “eggs” but only when you are walking (moving slower the 12 MPH), what a great way to get our exercise for the day! One of my clients even shared that she had walked 5 miles in one day, all while playing Pokemon Go. 3 – Game Strategy – I am so blessed to learn so much from my clients. As they share their experiences, I was blown away at how this entertaining game, in fact, it helps them practice concepts and skills we have been working on in therapy! One of my teen clients was a such a sweetheart and allowed me to catch my first pokemon. She was able to clearly and concisely explain to me the best strategy to catch that particular pokemon. She let me know that timing plays a big part of catching a pokemon and that I should Stop, Wait and Aim for the right time. As she walked me through the steps, I couldn’t help but smile. “Stop and Think” is one concept I teach often, by telling ourselves to “stop and think” we are able to decrease impulsivity, think through the situation and use rational thinking to determine what the most effective way to solve this problem (i.e. catching a high level pokemon, of course!). 4 – Conversation starters – I am not sure how many times a week, I typically ask, "how has your week been?" or "what's new with you?" Most of the times, I get the typical "good," "same ole," "nothing new." But recently, I have asked shifted the conversation starters to... “So…tell me about your favorite pokemon,” or “How many have you caught this week?” or “Who’s the most powerful pokemon that you have?” I try my best to be “up to date” and “cool” especially with my tween/teen clients. It is not always easy to start a conversation with a teen who’s parents are “forcing” them to come to therapy or an extremely anxious child. But talk about a game changer! A simple nonchalant question about an app and BAM! There is a take off! I mean, um, excuse me, where is my client, what did you do with him/her? 5 – Lack of Aggression – While you can “battle” other players, there is no visual blood, guts, guns/knives, etc. This game is appropriate for all ages and a game that can be enjoyed by both parents and kids. Which leads me to my next point… 6 - Builds relationships - Imagine that, dad and son walking together the park to catch Pokemon rather then hunkering down to play the newest Call of Duty. I can't tell you how many of my clients who are typically introverted or socially anxious surprised the heck out of me. They have told me how this game has helped them to meet people! Whether it's bonding over battling at a gym or getting tips from each other, each interaction they have with someone who wasn't in their life before somehow enhances their life now. WOW! 7 – Confidence Builder – Whether its because you just upped a character, caught a difficult pokemon or were able to answer a question from a stranger. I have witnessed my client’s confidence levels sky rocket! A huge component of building someone’s self confidence is through consistent positive reinforcement for a desirable behavior. When you get out and start walking, you are bound to find a few Pokemon and guaranteed (as you have collected enough poke balls, way to be proactive and prepared) to catch a few if not all. The more you catch, the more powerful your Pokemon become, the more you get addicted and want to play more! Cons 1 - The token highly talked about “accidents.” Note of caution : WATCH WHERE YOU WALK, DO NOT WALK OFF A CLIFF, OR WALK INTO A HIGHWAY!!!! Duh… 2 – Don’t play while driving…Duh! 3 – Camera and privacy settings – There have been some negative comments about how this game creates safety issues as kids are taking pictures with the characters can show strangers where a child is. Simple solution, dis-enable the camera from the game…Tada! In conclusion, everyone has the freedom of choice…to play Pokemon Go or not play Pokemon Go ...and I am in full support of a non-violent game, that when played safely, it gets people out of their houses, meeting new people, exercising and it doesn’t hurt that it promotes practicing of therapeutic skills! Go for it! #gottacatchemall 8/1/2016 0 Comments FORREST GUMP says it best...Therapy is a safe and nurturing environment where you can process and cope with whatever life hands you. Whether it be caramel filled goodness or an unpleasant surprise, therapy can increase you insight, assist in changing your perspective and/or learn different ways to cope with any given situation. We may not be able to change the chocolate that was given to use, yet we have control of how we react to it. You have the power and choice: eat it and enjoy it, dump it or choose another one. That's what makes you powerful, the ability to choose what to do with what life hands you. What will you do when life hands you a box of chocolates...
7/29/2016 0 Comments Cheers to changeAs I sit and write my very first blog, I am feeling inspired, nervous and excited all at once. Will people want to read what I say? As thoughts are flowing in my head, I make the decision to follow through and start a new leg of this journey. This journey started three years ago, when I opened my private practice. It started off as one day a week and continued to grow to meet the needs of my growing clientele. I have worked hard towards my ultimate goal of becoming my own boss, making my own hours and working with the clients that I love. For the past 7 years, I have been in my comfort zone. I am a successful psychologist at a rural community mental health center. I have a steady panel of clients and great relationships with other psychologists and health care professionals. I am comfortable and safe. But I am a gypsy at heart. Travel and change are not new to me, I typically revel in it. Yet, this challenge of starting this blog intimidates me. As my mind starts racing and nervousness overpowers the inspiration, I remind myself that as intimidating as this new venture can be, this is not a solo journey. It is a journey with you, and that excites me! I am always up for a challenge. I pride myself in doing my best to set a good example for my clients. What better time is there to set an example than now? Is it normal to feel inspired, nervous and excited? Is it okay to feel more then one emotion? The answer is yes, there are no right and wrong emotions. We are allowed to have more then one feeling. We must remind ourselves that it is okay to sit and acknowledge any and all of our current emotions. It is okay to just be. When we allow ourselves to just be, we allow ourselves to feel and know. I, too, must remind myself to just sit, feel and reflect, to understand why I feel this way, where are my thoughts coming from. I come from a Cognitive Behavioral Framework where I innately believe there is a chain-link of responses to a situation. Sometimes the situation is something that we do not have any control over (like if it rains), other times we have a little more influence on the situation (choosing to become my own boss). Every situation is followed by a thought. The thought can be either negatively or positively charged. Depending on how the thought is charged, it creates a chain reaction of behavior – negative thought, negative feeling, negative behavior OR positive thought, positive feeling, positive behavior. The choice is yours. Negative thoughts often come more easily and it takes about 3-5 positive thoughts to return back to our baseline. In my sessions, I often use worksheets or charts to help better explain the concepts we are working on. The chart below, demonstrates how a situation elicits a thought, which is connected to an emotion, which leads to our behavior. We sometimes feel that we have no control over the situation. In reality, sometimes we don’t. We can not control whether it rains or pours. What we do have control over is how we react to the situation, we can choose to mope around and wish for change or we can be the catalyst of change and change our reaction of the situation. Having the power to control our thoughts, which lead to how we feel and what we do keeps us in control. It makes us powerful! We don’t have to fear change, we can be the change.
I accept the challenge to be on this journey of change with you. Cheers to change, facing our fears and choosing to be in control of how we think, feel and do! Together we can be the change in the world! I am ready are you? |